“Show Don’t Tell” Is a Tool, Not a Rule

“Show, Don’t Tell” is an unbalanced statement

Three simple steps to Show and Tell with balance

Show and Tell are superhero tools with different abilities. If your scene begs dynamic detail, SHOW it. If you need something stated or sped up, TELL it.

Quoting “Show, Don’t Tell,” with little explanation destroys the path of many young writers, and they lose themselves. They become accountants, cashiers, telemarketers, or tech support specialists instead of becoming writers. I exaggerate not at all. My English Teachers, friends, family, and strangers emphasized that Showing was all, and it became everything I wrote. Everything was cartoonishly unbalanced with obscene detail, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I gave up my calling and wandered soullessly from one job to another for years until I found the right questions to ask, three of them, in fact:

1. Does This Scene Contain Pivotal Story Details? Show.
   When a scene needs vibrancy, complete with smells, tastes, sights, the sensations of things handled and touched, emotions, conflicts, and loves. These scenes usually reveal pivotal details or character-building elements, requiring an artist’s touch. These scenes must be SHOWN; if you don’t show them, you lose the soul of your story.
2. Does This Scene Need to Get to The Point? Tell.
   If it does, use Telling, it cuts through nonessential info. It summarizes and helps tie scenes together, emphasizes emotions and internal thoughts, shows the passage of time, and speeds up tedious dialogues. If mundane scenes smolder with mind-piercing imagery, your readers will burn out.
3. Does This Scene Need a Better Balance of Show and Tell? Adjust.
   When Showing and Telling are balanced, the story feels stable. When there’s an imbalance, the story feels rocky or confusing. Most successful stories demonstrate more Showing than Telling. Showing is heavy; Telling is light. When brewed correctly, they create harmony, and your reader moves to new depths of feeling.

“Show, Don’t Tell” When you need vibrance

Paint a picture with the five senses; this is where “Showing” shines

I have a scene bursting in my head, and it needs to be compelling, so we’re Showing off. It would be inadvisable to use Telling (or Narration) for this scene, and you’ll see why shortly.

When you Show a scene, it takes up a lot of space (high word count). Use Showing for essential scenes, and make them beautiful!

Showing The Scene!

Anahera Fights Galatas

The sun shone in whirling rays of dust through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the ruined library. Anahera’s eyes narrowed to venomous slits as she spotted the calm little boy standing casually in the middle of the empty library. She stalked silently on slippered feet, the ragged carpet threatening to trip her careful steps. She squatted behind a bookcase and stared at him between the gap of ancient clothbound books. The air was heavy with the musk of old books, sour mold, and dead moss, and she breathed slowly to avoid coughing. The boy whirled about in the wrong direction with a slight cry, ever suspicious. She had pursued him for three years, every waking moment thinking of nothing but him. He consumed her every thought.

The boy appeared to be five years old, but she knew better; he possessed an old soul, possibly older than hers. He had fierce blue eyes and cheeks still clinging to baby fat, orange curly hair, and a constant look of mischievous intent. Licking his fingers, he muttered nervously to himself and wiped scarlet sticky hands on his wee dark suit. His technique had changed. Usually, the creature left immediately after consuming his prey. Why linger?

She stuck to the shadows with a light step until the boy’s back faced her. With her heart beating in her throat, she readied all her energies until they felt like a whirlpool in her chest, arcane power aching to burst forth. Now was the moment of her vengeance. She leaped the first ten feet and sprinted noiselessly. With a face set with outrage and hands stretched out in snarled hooks, she reached for the boy’s shoulders just as he spun about. A horrifying expression of surprise, fear and glee twisted his face.

 

 

Anahera’s Vengeance

He bounced backward awkwardly, shrieking a vibrant warcry. He stumbled, lost his balance, and fell to the ground with chubby fists swinging futilely. Anahera stomped at his hands and feet as he snapped viciously at her legs with his milk-white baby teeth. Then grasping both her ankles, he twisted his body like a crocodile, trying to trip her. Anahera gave an indignant squawk, tore a leg from his grip, and kicked him in the midriff. He gasped, shuddering with pain. She quickly sat on his chest, and after pinning his arms to his sides, she slapped his cherub face. Twice.

With a cultured lilt to his voice, he bellowed, “Give off Anahera! Or I swear I’ll eat your doll collection and pee all over your bed when Mother isn’t looking!” Anahera responded with a smirk, “I’ve outgrown dolls, Galatas! And… ew! You’re sticky! Did you eat an ENTIRE JAR of strawberry jam this time? You’ll make yourself sick! You are coming with me back to the house! And you are getting a bath even if it kills me!”

Use Telling to show character thoughts and connect scenes, and to summarize lengthy conversations. When you Tell a scene it cuts to the point and lowers word count. Don’t use Telling to paint a picture, it’s a rather cumbersome paintbrush.

This scene is fun! Both characters are distinct, and there are hints of magical abilities. Anahera is careful, passionate, and in charge. Galatas is mischievous, vengeful, argumentative, and cute. The environment had decent detail, and it pulls readers in; this scene NEEDS to be Shown. It would be lifeless otherwise. Don’t believe me? Please see the example below.

Telling when you should be Showing

When you Tell incorrectly, suns implode across the universe

There ARE moments when Telling is better than Showing, but this is not one. I have used Telling in its worst form below. What should have been dynamic, engaging, and thrilling is overly short, undetailed, difficult to follow, and tedious. Please enjoy.

TELLING: Anahera vs. Galatas

Stalking the little boy in the empty library, Anahera hid behind a bookcase and stared at him. She had chased him for three years, always at the forefront of her mind, he was. The boy appeared to be five years old. He wiped his hands on his chest and licked his fingers, muttering. How odd… he usually left immediately after the crime.

What was he doing? Approaching from the shadows, Anahera snuck up behind him, then leaped into a sprint with arms outstretched. He spun at the last moment and, trying to jump back, fell to the ground, swinging futilely. She stomped at his hands and feet as he snapped at her legs. Grasping her ankles, he twisted, trying to trip her. Anahera pulled a leg from his grip and kicked him in the midriff, and he gasped. She quickly sat on his chest, pinned his arms to his sides, and slapped him twice.

GAH! Reading this makes the magic inside me perish, and it will do the same to readers.

 

 

Show Don’t Tell? Okay, duly noted

But when should I “Tell” and not “Show?”

This is what teachers mean when they say, “Show, Don’t Tell,” but many fail to teach that BOTH are as important as the other. Telling needs to be balanced with Showing, and writers should use these tools for their intended purposes to create balanced stories. For better examples of Telling, I’m writing part two, “Show and Tell Balanced Well.”

Now Go Forth! Armed with a greater understanding of Showing and Telling, you shall do tremendous things. Write Something Great!